Thursday, June 11, 2009

Tips on being a girls girl

This is in response to a couple of comments from this post. I'm no expert, but from my own experiences I can give some pointers on how to at least not be a Kelly from Real Housewives. This chick just can't make friends with any of the ladies and has to invite some trophy guy with her everywhere she goes. If she bumps into a girl she just met she'll act like she's never seen her, but if she bumps into that girl's boyfriend she'll give him the warmest of greetings. She is so fricking annoying!

First of all, you do need your girlfriends. I don't care how catty, competitive, and petty chicas can be, a life without close girlfriends (if you're a girl) is lacking. You're missing out. I look at my friend Randy for example and although she has a really strong supportive family, I know that things would be harder for her right now if it wasn't for us being there and constantly doing things with her situation in mind.

For girls that feel they are more comfortable generally around males than females, have you ever thought that this has to do with YOU and the vibes that YOU yourself are giving off? Maybe through your own guarded or defensive attitude and body language you're sending a message that you don't want to be friendly. Would you want to talk to you?

SO then, for starters you can start becoming conscious of emitting friendly and welcoming energy. Make yourself more approachable, and make it easy for you to approach others. You should be the judge of how to best do that. Maybe you should look up and smile more (and don't smile at only guys). Maybe you should learn to compliment. It's not being fake, it's being friendly.

Tip#2, make efforts! I would want to make friends with the type of girls who I feel like would be there for me so I'd click with the ones that make the time and day. Organize a girls brunch and invite people-and tell them they can bring people. I would only not invite people I really didn't like or people who I thought wouldn't mix well with that crowd. Make sure you advertise it as a girls event. I always do stuff like this when I find myself in a new environment or when I get introduced to a new group. It's a great ice breaker and the right girls will respond positively. Your efforts will be appreciated which feels good, and the invites will be returned. After you've put yourself out there naturally you'll click and form more lasting bonds with the ones you have more in common with

Tip #3, you have to actually WANT to make friends in order to make friends. You can dismiss girls as being not worth your companionship....but then that's your problem.

Tip #4, Be considerate!


Jaz said...

ooh thanks for posting this :) I was one of the girls that asked for tips and you actually helped! It's not that I don't WANT to have girlfriends, I know how great they can be but I didn't know how to replace the ones who've gone on their own seperate paths along the way. Will keep your post in mind :)

karmi said...

I don't trust women who say they're more comfortable with men. To me, it reeks of deep insecurity.

What?? said...


and since when were insecure women not trustworthy??! for gods sake how are those two things related?!

asoom said...

Jaz, you're welcome hon. I know it's on the broad general side but I guess if if youjust keep these things in mind you'll find that it's easier to open up to girls.

Karmi, I think a lot of girls share your viewpoint

What, I don't think karmi was saying that insecure women weren't trustworthy. We all have some type of insecurity (some bigger than others). She was saying that for a woman to be more comfortable with men is due to an insecurity, and that part I totally agree with. She said she doesn't trust women that feel more comfortable with men than women and you know what, a lot of girls share that viewpoint. I'm not saying I do because I do know some boys' girls and I can understand why they feel the way they do.

However, I can't blame any girl that says she doesn't trust a woman that would feel more comfortable around her boyfriend/husband than she does with her. Especially in the world we live in today.