I fell right out of my chair and it sounded like a bomb

One of the most empowering feelings in the world is when you work your ass of for something and actually get results!

For me this week was the real test. I had to demonstrate proficiency in the 5 main procedures we've learned all semester that actually have to do with my field. The past 2 weeks included lots of late nights and weekends in the lab to prepare for this and the whole setup is pretty intimidating. It's common that people will fail what's called a checkout.

Round 1 was on Tuesday and I was the very first person to get called in. I was nervous as hell when that timer started and fumbled absolutely everything. I wasn't at all surprised when I got an email later that day saying I'm going to have to retake one of 2 checkouts I had that morning (the other I passed with flying colors). I was pretty disappointed in myself that I walked to the dean's office right after to admit my mistakes through tears because I knew he's going to tell me to calm down and it's not the end of the world to fail one checkout (and he did). He proceeded to tell me stories about the times he messed up as a student, and this guy ran a very successful practice. Then we talked about cars.

This morning I had the other 3 which are actually much more challenging. I did lots of deep breathing and prayed that I wouldn't have any brain farts again when the timer started. You wouldn't believe this but out of nervousness I fell right out of my chair while performing retinoscopy. The chair hitting the metal sounded like a bomb went off and I freaked out everyone including my poor mock patient. My preceptor was compassionate enough to stop the timers and make everyone stop what they were doing and wait for me to collect myself before we all resumed. Afterwards we had a nice laugh.

I was refreshing my email inbox all day waiting for that email and finally got it around 5 PM. My scores were 92, 95, and 100 and I couldn't be more elated! I said alhamdulilah 100 times over. I was able to determine the prescriptions right on the money and my mistakes were more of little careless errors largely due to nerves. 7 hours later and I still feel like I'm on top of the world.

I decided I really needed a night off and do normal things. So me and my friend went and strolled the mall.........and not regular people mall but fancy, rich people mall. We figured it would prevent us from buying things when a plain shirt is equivalent to gas for a month. I was annoyed to see a pair of pants I paid 80 bucks for 2 weeks ago now on sale for 40.....oh well! I just bought another one in a different color. I bought a few things from the cheaper stores including new workout clothes from so that I don't have to do laundry so much and another vest which is like the funnest article of clothing to buy when you lose a lot of weight. The night ended with sushi dinner and my favorite banana tempura desert......all in moderation of course!