Awwwwwww I'll miss you guys too

"Oh come on you had to suspect something.....

You didn't notice that I was gone for 2 hours when I said I was only going to the post office?

You didn't think it was weird that xxxxx was being so nice to you today?

Did you not see the food in the kitchen?

You didn't notice that xxxx used the back door today and she always uses the front?

It didn't make you suspicious when you came back and realized the front door was locked???

MAN you are OBLIVIOUS!"

Honestly I had no clue! Today the office threw me a surprise going away lunch party since tomorrow is my last day (I leave next week to go back to school). Maybe if it was my last day I would have been suspicious, but today they could have planned it in front of me and I still wouldn't have noticed. One of my superiors asked me if I could please walk to the restaurant next door to ask if we could borrow ice. Ice for what? she said she said she had some homemade iced tea for us but it's too warm and she would greatly appreciate it if I can go find some ice. Angela would do it she said but she just came back from running office errands and was too hot now. "Ok......... well let me just call them and make sure that's ok first" I answered. "No no no no" everyone protested, "it's not worth it by the time you get off the phone with them you could have been there and back".

OK SHEESH! Fine I'll go.

When I came back the front door was locked so I just got really annoyed because it was hot. Angela opened the door and was victim to my reprimand. "what's wrong with you? why would you lock the door like that?" I handed the jumbo cup of ice to my coworker and sat back down in front of my computer to finish the writing assignment I was working on. Then I got annoyed because she made a comment about it not being enough ice, but I just pretended like I couldn't hear her.

About 30 seconds after I sat down my supervisor told me she needed to speak to me in the empty front office which we use for meetings with clients. Now that I type this up I'm realizing how oblivious I really am, I still had no clue! Although everyone was standing instead of at their desks working I still didn't realize what was up until I walked in and saw the all the food on the table and a huge pink gift bag on the floor.

Wow I was so touched! They didn't do this when previously 2 employees were transferred to a different location so really I wouldn't have expected anything like this. They also got me a really practical gift I'll definitely be making use of: a lap desk + matching accessories. Oh and the cake...of course it came from Whole Foods!

on love and relationships from a wise best friend

This is why my best friend is my best friend. I can tell her (almost) anything without fear of being judged or partronized. Not only that, but she'll always find something positive to say about you. I was going through a little crisis, to sum it up basically I'm scared. I'm scared that I invest too much of myself and that I could be heartbroken. There is noone else I would rather talk to about it, so I sent her a facebook message when I knew she wasn't available to talk. She replied back with a really long message that had me in tears and feeling so much better. I'm posting parts of it here because I'm sure some of you gals out there might get something out of hearing this too.

Me:

Seriously I think I have a problem. I can't stop obsessing over this. As much as I kept telling myself that I'm not even going to think about it I always do!!!! I dreamt about it all last night. ...........I can't help it, thinking about these things and holding on to the hope that this might turn into something real is one of the few pleasures of my daily life. It's like sometimes life sucks without having this to think about so I become all obsessive. Then when it doesn't work out, I become so heartbroken because I pinned so much hopes, fantasies, and desires on to it so it has the potential to turn into a huge let down. What is wrong with me????????

Angela:

NOTHING IS WRONG WITH U HUN!! actually u had me literally laughing uncontrollably when i read the pilates daydream .....u know what the truth is that ur just genuinely honest about the things that are going thru ur mind, trust me, that happens to everry girl, and I completely understand what u mean when u say that hinking about one of these daydreams actually becoming reality is one of the few fun happy moments in the day, girl i hear u all the way! To be honest with u, i think part of it we can control and part of it we really cant control.

its exciting to think of life moving to that next phase that we are sooo ready for and to finally have that person who makes it his primary concern to ensure ur wellbeing and happiness, that feels damn good after 20 something years of worrying about yourself all the time and dealing with parents and families who only make it harder instead of easier...All i can say is that i realy think there is a part of it that u can control though, and thats to not invest those hopes and excitment into this particular guy b/c thats what will leave u depressed and upset if thigns dont work out. Its too easy for these damn asshole guys to dissapoint and let us down, and personally after investing my feelings into ......., ........., .......... and God knows who else along the way and letting myself experience heartbreak or betrayal or whatever other damn asshole things guys make u feel, I am so protective of my feelings like very consciousley b/c I know I cant handle the let down or dissapointment again and again, i mean luv and heartbreak can make ppl do crazy things, and esp seeing how crazy xxxxx and xxxxx got and how far they went acting out of stupidity i really was scared about not letting myself get there.

Point being ur not at all crazy, look at what it does to everyone, so let urself enjoy ur daydreams, but realize ur daydreaming about a bigger picture, not this or any specific guy just yet, but it is about whoever is the right guy that Allah (swt) has written for u. so knowing that and believing that Allah (swt) will take care of u and that all the patience and all the pain that u have endured are all going to be worth so much more on the scale of ur good deeds inshallah than any worldy pleasure we will get from some dipshit man ;)

.....yea of course its dissapointing, but think of it as one more conquered obstacle on ur path to love. Honestly, I think all that u go thru in this time and all the things u r forced to learn about urself and all the time u can spend to realize thru seeing others and ur own experiences about what kinda relationship u want etc are so valuable and really do make the difference btween a regular marriage and a happy marriage...

ok i think im writing way too much here but my point is theres nothing wrong with u, but yea dont set urself up for dissapointment b/c of this one particular guy, ....neways hun ur one sexy girl and ur like the funnest person to be around, ur one of those ppl that its like the more and more time someone spends with u instead of getting annoyed by u or sick of u, it just makes them want to be around u even more, so i have no doubt that allah (swt) is just protecting u from the wrong ppl and will unite u inshallah with someone who values all that u r and treats u and gives u everything u deserve!
luv ya,
Angela

Hammering nails with Coach shoes and pink lip gloss

So I never really talked about the outcome of the first volunteer project I organized as volunteer coordinator. We didn't have very much time to rally and organize; we literally had a few days notice but alhamdulilah it was a great success.

It was a rebuilding project that involved fixing up an elderly disabled man's residence so that it can actually be livable. The organizing took a lot of work especially because it was our first such event. There were a lot of materials and supplies that we didn't even have and there were a lot of logistics that needed to be worked out such as having the right professionals there at the right time. Guess who was responsible for the oversight of all of that? Yours truly. If it wasn't for the help that I had and people willing to take on the tasks I was delegating to them I don't know how this event could have happened. We probably would have had to postpone because it was just too much work for one person.

Not that I'm complaining, I'm happy to do it. This is the fun part of working. Alhamdulilah it was a great success. 14 volunteers ended up showing up at the meeting spot. Many of them were young, had little or no such experience, didn't know what sheet rock was, and some didn't know how to use a hammer. Some of them inspired the title of this post. However they came with a lot of energy and the willingness to work. We stayed for 6 hours and got a lot done. We definitely got down, dirty, and stinky. I was being a nazi about making sure everyone was taking the proper safety precautions and alhamdulilah there were no significant injuries. The volunters made some people very happy and I was sooooo proud of everyone.

When you do good for others you might be helping yourself more than anyone else. The feeling that you get as a result of being able to make such a positive difference in someone else's life(lives) is just priceless. It's also a very humbling experience, and who couldn't use a little bit of humbling every now and then. One thing that made me really happy at the end of the day is knowing that I had a part in making some of these youngsters, like my little brother, come to that realization and feel the value of such community service.

A Bridal Shower Photo Post

It was a lot of fun. About 20 dressed up gals showed up. It didn't start too smoothly since this is like the first time everyone decides to come to my house on time and I definitely was not ready. I made my first guest act as the host until I finished getting primped. Then I spent like half an hour trying to figure out where I placed the game prizes. I was so frustrated with myself I almost started crying. However, it was a blast! The best part was seeing my friend so happy and grateful. If there were more hours in the day I'd take up party planning as a new hobby. I have a lot of fun attempting to get creative.
It was heartwarming that some people couldn't make it but still wanted to contribute in some way. My best friend Angela who couldn't be there made these candy-stuffed bridal gown favors. She came over early in the morning with the supplies. Another person sent over some trays of food. Oh and the girls got pretty creative with the food. Suzy made this french toast casserole that was to die for.

I was so excited that we came up with an idea to finally make use of those disposable champagne glasses that involved PINK chocolate covered goodies. Me and my sister made these the night before. Not only does it look pretty, but it actually tasted really good.

If you need a great bridal shower (or other gathering) game idea, the purse scavenger hunt was actually really fun. My list included things like a 1979 penny, socks, a baby picture, and a Victoria's Secret Angel Card. The winner found 9 out of 15 items in her purse.


It was between a bridal sash, a tiara, or a veil. We went with the veil. She said she would keep it on her bedroom dresser forever.

It Happened Twice!

I was about to create a photo post of yesterday's shower until I viewed the IP tracker and started freaking out. Yesterday someone from my hometown did a yahoo search on "the diary sequel" TWICE from the same IP address.

I have some theories because I haven't been too careful. Yesterday I had the blogger screen up for at least the beginning of the bridal shower and there were a couple of people who did have access to my room. Something like that could have caught some one's attention. The first search was at the time that the party was supposed to have ended however I don't know if anyone left early enough to have gotten home at that time. From what I can remember everyone stayed past the hour.

The other thing is I've been careless at work. Sometimes I even forget to click off the screen when I leave for errands or lunch.

Is it time to shut down yet again? I wish there was a way I can just block hometown visits at least and free myself from this anxiety and paranoia.

Can I just vent over here?

Seriously? Can I? Of course I can. It's why I keep this blog around.

First of all, I'm about to send a nasty email to all of tomorrow's invitees and I don't care that I'm being mean. Do not bring kids to my house, to my events, or to my planned social gatherings unless I told you you could. I'm not super heartless I do make realistic exceptions. However if I barely know you and I was nice enough to invite you because you're a friend of the bride, I better not hear that you plan on dragging along your 10 year old kid sister. Anyway, a bridal shower is definitely not the place for a 10 yr old. You'll just be ruining it for the rest of us as we have to censor our conversations.

Second of all, I'm really upset that my best friend Angela who is also a very close friend of the bride is not allowed to come to the bridal shower, the henna, or the wedding. Why? Family rivalry! To make up for it she's been doing a lot of behind the scenes work to help out where she can. Out of guilt she's been secretly running errands for the bride and has been helping me with the shower planning. She did some shopping for me and will be coming by in the morning to drop off a deserts she made. It's just been a very sensitive, akward, and uncomfortable subject within our circle friends. A lot of the girls just don't understand and I don't blame them. I can't say I completely understand either...sometimes I have to restrain myself from the urge to grab her and say "what the hell is wrong with you? You grew up with this chick and she's one of your closest friends. Your mama needs to get over it!"

Third of all, when do I get to sleep? Not only am I tired, I'm also overwhelmed as hell. I work 9-7, I'm planning a bridal shower on my day off, and my first project that I've organized as volunteer coordinator for my agency is this weekend. I complain to everyone and then I feel bad that I'm complaining and probably overwhelming them. The bridal shower is in like 12 hours and when I click "publish" I'll just be starting to make the favors, set up the games, and decorate which I may or may not actually do. In between then I have my pilates class to go to and of course my own beautifying routine is going to take a couple hours.

Fourth of all and probably the biggest source of stress has been the volunteer project I'm organizing this weekend. It's a rebuilding project and I didn't have too much time and notice because it came out of an emergency situation. There are still so many loose ends that need to be tied and so many logistics to take care of. I've spent countless hours this week either writing emails or talking on the phone with regards to this project. Other than the actual rebuilding and gathering volunteers there's so many things you have to think about. I have to make sure the situation I'm putting young volunteers in is adequately safe and secure (it's in the ghetto), the appropriate professional(s) is on site, the necessary tools and materials are there, food, refreshments, publicity stuff, and even some legality issues (consent forms, disclaimers, etc). Every hour some new issue pops up in my face. I have people helping me that I can delegate tasks to but the ultimate responsibility falls on my shoulders.

I'm going to be really happy when this weekend is over.

I Need Your Bridal Shower Ideas

Remember when I asked you for your lunch party recipes? well you guys really came through so now I'm asking for your bridal shower ideas.

Don't get too excited it's not mine! I'm hosting a bridal shower for one of my close friends whose getting married next week. Me and her go way back so I really wanted to do this for her. Her and her fiance's story is really cute in a Romeo and Juliet type of way. Anyway, that's not the point of this post, I need some bridal shower ideas!

The party will be Friday so I realize this is a last minute plea. The whole plan was pretty last minute and I've been very busy with a new project at work (I'm now the volunteer coordinator for our agency's branch-more to come later). I actually feel pretty guilty because I've definitely been skimping in comparison to my social gathering-throwing standards. I don't plan on making any food, I advertised it as a pot luck. Today I made my sister go to Party Time to try to see what bridal shower-themed things we can pick up on our very limited budget which I'm already over. We got minimal decorations-a sign to put out on the yard, a banner, a bridal veil that we'll make her wear.

The most creative thing I've come up with is I got this glass keepsake box personalized from Things Remembered and I asked all her friends to each write her a letter to put in the box that we'll present to her as our personal collective gift. That might make her shed a tear or 2, and I may shed my own tears as I write my letter to her.

Over the years she evolved into becoming pretty conservative so there won't be music and dancing at this party-I'll have to get creative. Thanks to google I found 2 group games that should be fun. One of them is a purse scavenger hunt and the other is called "the bride leaves the room" where we make her leave to ask questions about her appearance that day (what color is her necklace?). I even got some nice prizes for interest perking purposes. Then of course we eat, chit chat, and oooh and ahhh as she opens up borderline naughty gifts.

That's all I've got on the agenda! I really feel guilty and like I haven't done enough. The evite went out to 30something girls and I expect around 20 to show up. It's a daytime brunch thing with a summer dressy dresscode. I explicitly stated in the evite that jeans will not be allowed at this event. So now you have a feel for what kind of gathering it'll be and that's all I've got folks.

Do you have any low maintenance ideas on what I can do to add some creativity and uniqueness to my homegirl's once-in-a-lifetime bridal shower?

A night of supporting local artists

I attended this local artsy fartsy festival by accident. I was dragged along by someone who had to be there on an assigment. I didn't even understand where we were going. After the day I had I would have preferred to go home where it wasn't over 100 degrees, shower, and sleep forever. However it required too much energy to say no and come up with excuses, so I went.

Check out someone's 3-D illustration of the eye of the hurricane.

Thank God I did cause I would have never have known my little town was capable of this. Now I feel guilty because I like to take advantage of all things cultural and festive when I visit other towns like a tourist but I'm not even aware of what's in my own backyard. I guess we all do that right?

Moods (it was actually given a witty title that I can't even recall)

It's funny how many times tourists and short-term visitors may have experienced more attractions in your hometown than you in your lifetime of living there. I have cousins in Jordan that have never seen Petra, I know some South Floridians that have never been to south beach, New York city residents that never saw a broadway play (and it's not cause they can't afford it), and quite a few New Orleanians that have never been to a real Mardi Gras parade (it's not all Bourbon street, ok!).

This Obama art is made completely out of currency. I can't even imagine the work that went into this.

What is it about being accessible that makes it is so uninteresting? Uninteresting isn't even the right word here because to begin with we don't even know what's up down town!

Some performances at this local event with artists of all genres that I've never even heard of were more entertaining than concerts I attended of famous artists.

These guys totally reminded me of the Blue Man Group show. They were really good too!

Even these belly dancers with non-Eastern roots trained at a local studio totally performed better than I expected them to. Those White girls can dance!

My Poor Car

This morning someone at work asked me to step outside. Unless it's your birthday, being asked to step outside is usually not a good thing. Allah yustur, I thought. I walked outside to witness this scene (above). I wasn't sure what happened yet but I walked back in, grabbed my diggie cam which stays in my purse, and snapped pics.

My poor car was hit in the parking lot when a driver lost control of her vehicle as a result of the fact that it was just raining cats and dogs. It was my coworker; she was very nervous and distraught. I think she was especially shaken up because of the images she associates with car accidents. She has a child that was involved in a bad car accident with fatalities and he is now disabled. I calmed her down and told her no big deal, accidents happen.

She hit the Acura which in turn rammed into my Lexus. Ironically it looks like my Lexus took a bigger hit than the Acura. When the cops came on scene they just burst out laughing. No one else really thought it was funny and to me it was just a tad bit unprofessional, not to mention annoying....whatever. Trying to figure out how to disassemble the cars was like playing a game of checkers. We weren't sure what vehicle to move in what order, in what direction, and to what degree without causing any further damage. One of the cops got on his car intercom system and guided us out of the tangle (in between his giggles).

"The Acura moves first!"

Who knows maybe the Baba will get me a new car out of this. This one has now acquired its share of dents and scratches. I don't know why it is that no matter how minor or major, no matter whose fault it was, and even if you weren't physically in it-accidents always leave you a little bit shaken up. As much as I assured my coworker that everything is alright I was a little bit jumpy. Alhamdulilah no one was hurt.

Reacting to bloggers and their posts

Ok so I just read like one of the most annoying blog posts I've ever read. It definitely belongs up there in the top 5. Seriously, I was pretty pissed off...I couldn't even finish reading it till the end because I didn't want it to completely ruin my good mood.

If this had been around the time when I first joined the blogosphere, I would have replied with so much passion and fury and maybe a couple "who the hell do you think you are?" I would have brewed a cup of coffee in preparation for writing the perfect counter viewpoint while thoroughly illustrating the author's absurdity at the same time. In fact, I can often times tell if someone is new on the blog scene by the nature of their comments on posts.

Nowadays though it doesn't matter. I can just say "ok that was annoying" and move on. The exception would be when it's written by a really popular blogger with a widely read blog because in that case I don't feel like I'm wasting my time on ONE blogger's post but rather I'm reaching out to a large audience to lobby my argument. Other than though, I don't know this person, nor does the person know me. It's written by a virtual person that's part of a virtual world that might as well not even exist. So why react?