I've successfully completed a semester of my pre-professional health program (for lack of better words yall)! I mean not only did I not fail anything, but I had some damn good grades. I took a total of 8 finals and as soon as I finished my last one and knew I did great it may have been one of the most happiest moments of my life. Is that like sad or what? It didn't even bother me so much that after my last final by car refused to start and my phone stopped working. I just kept thinking how wonderful life is!
So now I'm home on my 3 week break and I don't think I've ever been so free in my adult life. I've never had like absolutely nothing that I needed to do. Even during school breaks I was always studying for some kind of makeup exam, working on a paper I got an extension for, or doing some kind of volunteer work I pre-committed to. I made a list of mini-goals to accomplish during my break, but so far I've just been bumming it and spending a lot of time at Starbucks withe Angela, on Suzy's couch, or eating out with Randy. I almost feel guilty being so free....almost :)
Hope you have a good break!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Controversial author Norma Khouri comments on my blog post about her
It was humbling to have author Fadi Faqir visit my old blog and send me her book. It was very exciting to have artist Ena Vie comment on my blog post praising her, and now Norma Khouri replied to my post Investigating Norma Khouri in Forbidden Lie$.
Is it really her? I guess there's no way to be totally sure. If it is, I thank you Norma Khouri for taking the time out of your schedule to address my post and some of the following comments.
Unfortunately I'm in the middle of an intense finals time so I just don't have the time to appropriately reply. I just really wanted to give any of you interested readers out there the opportunity to reply to her comment that I'm copying and pasting below. Maybe we can have have a constructive discussion over it.
norma(jdoit@lycos.com) said...
Hello, I am Norma Khouri. You can believe whatever you like about what my intentions were or are...my intentions from the start were to raise international awareness of the existence of these crimes and the Jordanian Laws which allow for them to continue. Rana Husseini was one of the first reporters to write about Honor Killings....the problem was that she was publishing the stories in the Jordanian Times...a small local circulation english language paper in Jordan...which was not even available on the internet...and still does not archive any of its articles on the net to this day. Now for someone who lives in Europe or the US or any other country other than Jordan...how were they going to become aware of such crimes??? no other media was reporting on it...womens rights issues have never been a media priority unless there were political reasons to report on them as in the case of Afghanistan.
As to KJ...the original US version of the book is actually stamped "fiction"...the book created problems for Jordan...too much attention was being focused on them as a result of the book...that is clearly evidenced in the articles that Jordan published where government officials are quoted as saying that they are receiving too much pressure from the UN and the US "as though this is the only place this happens". Amnesty conducted its own investigation into the number of honor killings that occur there...you should check that report out, so did the UN.
The media and the documentary make a lot of outrageous claims...controversy sells...they also claim I am wanted by the FBI...call the FBI yourself and ask if I am wanted?? I am not. i live and work and pay taxes in the US, I am not in hiding. The money from the book and from the documentary is going to human rights groups...it does not even come through me to go to them...it goes directly to them from publishers and film company...Maybe I should have done it for money...I wouldn't be working 70 hours a week to pay a mortgage and bills... Norma
Is it really her? I guess there's no way to be totally sure. If it is, I thank you Norma Khouri for taking the time out of your schedule to address my post and some of the following comments.
Unfortunately I'm in the middle of an intense finals time so I just don't have the time to appropriately reply. I just really wanted to give any of you interested readers out there the opportunity to reply to her comment that I'm copying and pasting below. Maybe we can have have a constructive discussion over it.
norma(jdoit@lycos.com) said...
Hello, I am Norma Khouri. You can believe whatever you like about what my intentions were or are...my intentions from the start were to raise international awareness of the existence of these crimes and the Jordanian Laws which allow for them to continue. Rana Husseini was one of the first reporters to write about Honor Killings....the problem was that she was publishing the stories in the Jordanian Times...a small local circulation english language paper in Jordan...which was not even available on the internet...and still does not archive any of its articles on the net to this day. Now for someone who lives in Europe or the US or any other country other than Jordan...how were they going to become aware of such crimes??? no other media was reporting on it...womens rights issues have never been a media priority unless there were political reasons to report on them as in the case of Afghanistan.
As to KJ...the original US version of the book is actually stamped "fiction"...the book created problems for Jordan...too much attention was being focused on them as a result of the book...that is clearly evidenced in the articles that Jordan published where government officials are quoted as saying that they are receiving too much pressure from the UN and the US "as though this is the only place this happens". Amnesty conducted its own investigation into the number of honor killings that occur there...you should check that report out, so did the UN.
The media and the documentary make a lot of outrageous claims...controversy sells...they also claim I am wanted by the FBI...call the FBI yourself and ask if I am wanted?? I am not. i live and work and pay taxes in the US, I am not in hiding. The money from the book and from the documentary is going to human rights groups...it does not even come through me to go to them...it goes directly to them from publishers and film company...Maybe I should have done it for money...I wouldn't be working 70 hours a week to pay a mortgage and bills... Norma
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Reviews of my recent makeup discoveries!
I love discovering new makeup products and I'm always interested in knowing what's working for others. So I've decided to return the favor and generously share my most recent findings!
In terms of color this bronzer/blush is my favorite, it's so beautiful and totally beats that way too popular Orgasm by Nars which goes on more pink than bronze. My only beef with blush is the fact that it's not long lasting; hours later you can't even tell I put it on.
I told the make up artist at Sephora that I'm bored with my own neutral glosses and lipsticks and I'm looking for something that pops out a little bit more. So we landed on Red Delicious made by Bare Essentials (only $12!). It's more of a dull red than a bright red-just red enough to be elegant without looking too 80s.
I would especially consider investing in this quad set of Stila smudge pot if you're already using paints pots of any sort (like the popular MAC pots). The hardest part about paint pots is just getting used to applying them, once you've got that down I highly recommend you go get one of these. All 4 colors are pretty useful, the quality and consistency is great, and the best part about it is it was only $32! (one pot alone is like $20). I use these as primer, base, shadow, and liner!
If you've never tried wearing colored eye liner, try now! There's a crazy color out there made perfectly for you..trust me on that. This is especially ideal if you don't like wearing a lot of makeup because just a line of color on your lids can make a world of a difference in your complexion. I started off with blues but I just discovered this Tealo by Mac and I'm sooooo obsessed! I either wear it alone as a liner or if I have time I'll highlight it with a shade of lighter green eyeshadow. I've gotten compliments every time.
Continuing on with the discussion of colored liners I've recently picked up this purple (retrolady) liquid liner from Mac after reading an article stating that olive-skinned girls go well with purple eyes. Alone I'm not too crazy about it, I think I just haven't found the best way to apply it. The last time I wore it I put it on my upper lids and used the tealo liner above on my lower lids and it actually looked pretty cool. The best thing about this is once it's dry it doesn't smear AT ALL!
In terms of color this bronzer/blush is my favorite, it's so beautiful and totally beats that way too popular Orgasm by Nars which goes on more pink than bronze. My only beef with blush is the fact that it's not long lasting; hours later you can't even tell I put it on.
I told the make up artist at Sephora that I'm bored with my own neutral glosses and lipsticks and I'm looking for something that pops out a little bit more. So we landed on Red Delicious made by Bare Essentials (only $12!). It's more of a dull red than a bright red-just red enough to be elegant without looking too 80s. I would especially consider investing in this quad set of Stila smudge pot if you're already using paints pots of any sort (like the popular MAC pots). The hardest part about paint pots is just getting used to applying them, once you've got that down I highly recommend you go get one of these. All 4 colors are pretty useful, the quality and consistency is great, and the best part about it is it was only $32! (one pot alone is like $20). I use these as primer, base, shadow, and liner!If you've never tried wearing colored eye liner, try now! There's a crazy color out there made perfectly for you..trust me on that. This is especially ideal if you don't like wearing a lot of makeup because just a line of color on your lids can make a world of a difference in your complexion. I started off with blues but I just discovered this Tealo by Mac and I'm sooooo obsessed! I either wear it alone as a liner or if I have time I'll highlight it with a shade of lighter green eyeshadow. I've gotten compliments every time.
Continuing on with the discussion of colored liners I've recently picked up this purple (retrolady) liquid liner from Mac after reading an article stating that olive-skinned girls go well with purple eyes. Alone I'm not too crazy about it, I think I just haven't found the best way to apply it. The last time I wore it I put it on my upper lids and used the tealo liner above on my lower lids and it actually looked pretty cool. The best thing about this is once it's dry it doesn't smear AT ALL!
I hope you discovered something for yourself out of my makeup mini review post. If you have any new makeup discoveries of your own, please do share!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Surviving doctor school: Just say no to the party!
Unless you're in professional school (medical/dental/optometry/pharm/law..etc) you're just not going to understand why I have to say no to everything and seclude myself from people and activity. It's not just about this one dinner, going to that one restaurant, watching that one movie, spending this one weekend home...."what's the the big deal asoom?"...........people just don't fucking understand!!!!!
Succeeding in these types of programs is very much an emotional process as much as it is mental and physical. Many times I really can't be around people (especially certain types). I can't just hang out and be adventurous and spontaneous like I used to. I can't put myself in situations where I might get pissed off at someone, annoyed at something, too excited, too tired....etc. It's cool to give myself a break but I have exams on a weekly basis and I have to stay focused. My mind can't wander too far away.
I'm always on the border grade-wise and I've had to learn the hard way that a really fun weekend could also result in going from a barely passing to to a failing average in a class. There's a reason why it's so hard to get into such programs; it's simply not cut out for the vast majority of people. In the battle to just keep up you could turn into a crazy psycho person who no longer eats and sleeps. Yes.....it's really that bad!
It sucks when you're around people that just don't understand it and get annoyed at you or think of you as not a very good friend when you just have to say no to the party, even when they claim they totally understand. People just don't get it and I'm so sick I've having to deal with that added pressure of appeasing everyone. It's just not fair!
Succeeding in these types of programs is very much an emotional process as much as it is mental and physical. Many times I really can't be around people (especially certain types). I can't just hang out and be adventurous and spontaneous like I used to. I can't put myself in situations where I might get pissed off at someone, annoyed at something, too excited, too tired....etc. It's cool to give myself a break but I have exams on a weekly basis and I have to stay focused. My mind can't wander too far away.
I'm always on the border grade-wise and I've had to learn the hard way that a really fun weekend could also result in going from a barely passing to to a failing average in a class. There's a reason why it's so hard to get into such programs; it's simply not cut out for the vast majority of people. In the battle to just keep up you could turn into a crazy psycho person who no longer eats and sleeps. Yes.....it's really that bad!
It sucks when you're around people that just don't understand it and get annoyed at you or think of you as not a very good friend when you just have to say no to the party, even when they claim they totally understand. People just don't get it and I'm so sick I've having to deal with that added pressure of appeasing everyone. It's just not fair!
Thanksgiving Dinner at my place? Hell No!
I'm not going home for Thanksgiving or Eid. It's too close to finals and I have to keep things low key to stay focused and ensure that I'll be here next semester. It's sacrifice that I have to make and that's just life.
A young couple that we've befriended on our floor invited me and Masriyya to their Thanksgiving dinner. I figured that would be perfect because I could just show up, eat, chat for a bit, then leave. Masriyya understands how much pressure I'm under so she'll take care of contributing some dish for the both of us and I can even dress up for the affair! It sounds perfect because I'll be satisfied in getting to partake in Thanksgiving but not to the point where I'll be distracted.
Yesterday we were informed that Thanksgiving at our neighbors will be cancelled because the man of the house got called to travel for work and the lady of the house can't handle it all by herself. So we were a teeny bit bummed to the point where I forgot about my other committments and started brainstorming alternatives. So I came up with this idea that seemed genious at the moment. One of our favorite Italian bakeries had fliers up advertising their Thanksgiving catering specials. They'll cater a dinner for 8 Thanksgiving Day at a relatively reasonable price and their food is amazing! So why don't we ask our neighbor if she'll split it with us and just have it at our place so that we can invite a couple of our friends too who also can't go home for Thanksgiving. No wasting time cooking or shopping, what a genious idea, we have to do it!
So after I went back to my room my senses slowly started coming back to me which soon turned into a full-blown panic. All those people, the inviting, the cleaning before, the cleaning after, how long will they stay after? how much will I end up spending? what the hell was I thinking???? There is no way we're hosting Thanksgiving dinner at MY place 4 days before my finals start.
So I run back out of my room to tell Masriyya and see that she was coming to my room to tell me something...."you know I'm sooooo happy that you came up with this idea! 3anjad I was getting so depressed about not having a real Thanksgiving this year. You're idea is perfect and I'm soo excited now, I can't tell you how much better I feel!"
GREAT!!!!
A young couple that we've befriended on our floor invited me and Masriyya to their Thanksgiving dinner. I figured that would be perfect because I could just show up, eat, chat for a bit, then leave. Masriyya understands how much pressure I'm under so she'll take care of contributing some dish for the both of us and I can even dress up for the affair! It sounds perfect because I'll be satisfied in getting to partake in Thanksgiving but not to the point where I'll be distracted.
Yesterday we were informed that Thanksgiving at our neighbors will be cancelled because the man of the house got called to travel for work and the lady of the house can't handle it all by herself. So we were a teeny bit bummed to the point where I forgot about my other committments and started brainstorming alternatives. So I came up with this idea that seemed genious at the moment. One of our favorite Italian bakeries had fliers up advertising their Thanksgiving catering specials. They'll cater a dinner for 8 Thanksgiving Day at a relatively reasonable price and their food is amazing! So why don't we ask our neighbor if she'll split it with us and just have it at our place so that we can invite a couple of our friends too who also can't go home for Thanksgiving. No wasting time cooking or shopping, what a genious idea, we have to do it!
So after I went back to my room my senses slowly started coming back to me which soon turned into a full-blown panic. All those people, the inviting, the cleaning before, the cleaning after, how long will they stay after? how much will I end up spending? what the hell was I thinking???? There is no way we're hosting Thanksgiving dinner at MY place 4 days before my finals start.
So I run back out of my room to tell Masriyya and see that she was coming to my room to tell me something...."you know I'm sooooo happy that you came up with this idea! 3anjad I was getting so depressed about not having a real Thanksgiving this year. You're idea is perfect and I'm soo excited now, I can't tell you how much better I feel!"
GREAT!!!!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Am I just in love with love?
Yesterday I went to a comedy show where the opening comedian stated "if you're in a relationship and you're not married or engaged but you're fighting about the small things, end it now!". He went on with with the examples and ha ha ha ha we all laughed, they were pretty funny.
It's funny that I'm now taking relationship advice from a comedian but I started wondering if God had specifically meant for me to receive that message at that moment in time no matter what form it came in. I've been stressed, frustrated, confused and really torn. My mood is up and down.
I've actually been doing a great job of keeping my life under control which is a big improvement in comparison to my past antics when dealing with relationship problems. I've done pretty well on the 1 billion exams I took (well with 1 exception). I've been consistent with the strength training and toning class I've taken up at the gym. I'm keeping my place clean and organized. I'm still making time for friends and going out. I regularly speak to my family. I still take pleasure in life's small things like experimenting with makeup and going shoe shopping.
However if my relationship doesn't improve I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this all up and the cracks are starting to show. When things are good we're happy and there are definitely happy days. When they're not (like right now) it takes its toll. I have trouble sleeping. Focusing is a struggle. Sometimes I tune people out and stare off into space without even realizing it. I've been eating more junk food, and have even been missing some of my prayers. I haven't woken up for fajr in a few days now.
I simply don't know what to do now. What I did know though is last night I wanted a night away from everything. I just wanted a night to have fun with my friends and completely put aside the stress and the drama. I wanted to some freedom just for one night. So here I am anticipating the fun and within the first 5 minutes of the show my issues get propped up in my face: "if.....end it now!"
I still managed to push it back in my mind and have loads of fun last night but around 3 AM when we found ourselves drained of energy and done with all our laughing I decided it was now appropriate to share the irony of what the comedian said and see what my girls thought. "If it's only been like a month and a half and we've had a couple of big fights over small things...." before I could even finish their responses erupted. They all strongly felt that this wasn't a good sign at all. "This is supposed to be the honeymoon phase" one friend added.
Maybe they're just biased because I only share with them things when there's a problem because it's those times when I need to talk. I haven't told them all the sweet amazing things he's done. I haven't told them all the times when he's made me over-the-moon happy. I haven't told them about the times when he says to me exactly the things I need to hear or showers me with endless compliments. I haven't told them about the plans he made and the efforts put in to show me that he's serious about commitment and not wasting my time. I keep these things to myself because it just feels weird to share those details unless specifically asked to do so; I would feel like I'm showing off or being plain tacky.
Maybe now I'm sounding like one of those stupid girls you see on Dr.Phil who constantly makes excuses for her guy's bad behavior and justifies a bad relationship because she just doesn't want to be alone. I always tell girls to not be in love with love and see beyond the desire to just have a guy and rather desire to be in a relationship that's good for you, one that brings you up and not pulls you down. Do I need to listen to my own advice? I'm so confused.
What I do know though is this: my finals are starting in 2 weeks. Life has been treating me pretty well right now. Alhamdulilah I'm in a point in life where I have a lot going for me, and I'm not going to let any guy fuck that up!
It's funny that I'm now taking relationship advice from a comedian but I started wondering if God had specifically meant for me to receive that message at that moment in time no matter what form it came in. I've been stressed, frustrated, confused and really torn. My mood is up and down.
I've actually been doing a great job of keeping my life under control which is a big improvement in comparison to my past antics when dealing with relationship problems. I've done pretty well on the 1 billion exams I took (well with 1 exception). I've been consistent with the strength training and toning class I've taken up at the gym. I'm keeping my place clean and organized. I'm still making time for friends and going out. I regularly speak to my family. I still take pleasure in life's small things like experimenting with makeup and going shoe shopping.
However if my relationship doesn't improve I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this all up and the cracks are starting to show. When things are good we're happy and there are definitely happy days. When they're not (like right now) it takes its toll. I have trouble sleeping. Focusing is a struggle. Sometimes I tune people out and stare off into space without even realizing it. I've been eating more junk food, and have even been missing some of my prayers. I haven't woken up for fajr in a few days now.
I simply don't know what to do now. What I did know though is last night I wanted a night away from everything. I just wanted a night to have fun with my friends and completely put aside the stress and the drama. I wanted to some freedom just for one night. So here I am anticipating the fun and within the first 5 minutes of the show my issues get propped up in my face: "if.....end it now!"
I still managed to push it back in my mind and have loads of fun last night but around 3 AM when we found ourselves drained of energy and done with all our laughing I decided it was now appropriate to share the irony of what the comedian said and see what my girls thought. "If it's only been like a month and a half and we've had a couple of big fights over small things...." before I could even finish their responses erupted. They all strongly felt that this wasn't a good sign at all. "This is supposed to be the honeymoon phase" one friend added.
Maybe they're just biased because I only share with them things when there's a problem because it's those times when I need to talk. I haven't told them all the sweet amazing things he's done. I haven't told them all the times when he's made me over-the-moon happy. I haven't told them about the times when he says to me exactly the things I need to hear or showers me with endless compliments. I haven't told them about the plans he made and the efforts put in to show me that he's serious about commitment and not wasting my time. I keep these things to myself because it just feels weird to share those details unless specifically asked to do so; I would feel like I'm showing off or being plain tacky.
Maybe now I'm sounding like one of those stupid girls you see on Dr.Phil who constantly makes excuses for her guy's bad behavior and justifies a bad relationship because she just doesn't want to be alone. I always tell girls to not be in love with love and see beyond the desire to just have a guy and rather desire to be in a relationship that's good for you, one that brings you up and not pulls you down. Do I need to listen to my own advice? I'm so confused.
What I do know though is this: my finals are starting in 2 weeks. Life has been treating me pretty well right now. Alhamdulilah I'm in a point in life where I have a lot going for me, and I'm not going to let any guy fuck that up!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Will boys be boys? or is that a bad excuse?
I don't get offended by cuss words. I say ass all the time and will even drop the F-bomb here and there. This is all thanks to grad school really; the list of acquired dirty habits is ever growing and cussing is one of them.
However, there's something about the very casual use of sexually explicit language in the form of metaphors and euphamisms (or maybe it's meant literal, I can't tell) that still makes me uncomfortable. It usually comes from guys. My good Muslim boys colleagues who observe Ramadan, attend every campus jum3a prayer, proudly say "salaam alaikum" instead of hey, and can occasionally be caught preaching of their great faith are NO exception to this trend.
I know guys are guys and I've become somewhat desensitized to critiquing the hottness level of a girl (yup they even do it in front of me). But when I hear a conversation describing a D word, or getting some P word, or a reference to sexual acts my jaw just can't help dropping a little bit. Especially when it's coming out of the same mouth that I heard beautifully reciting the athan a couple weeks ago.
It really bothers me and a string of obsessive and perhaps irrational thoughts will run through my head. Is he merely fitting in with the common culture? Could he actually be 'experienced' like that? How much of a hypocrite is he? I can't believe I thought about setting him up with my friend! Then I start thinking about other 'respectable' boys and if they talk like that too in their normal social elements. I wonder about the guy I'm talking to now and if he has conversations like that when he's around the guys.
It's all really non of my business and I would sleep a little bit better if I just didn't hear these things in the first place. So I take comfort in telling myself that it's ok because boys will just be boys.......but perhaps we're using that phrase too much to excuse behavior that shouldn't be totally ok. Agree?
And maybe it's time for me to call it a night!
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