Saturday, November 7, 2009

Will boys be boys? or is that a bad excuse?

I don't get offended by cuss words. I say ass all the time and will even drop the F-bomb here and there. This is all thanks to grad school really; the list of acquired dirty habits is ever growing and cussing is one of them.

However, there's something about the very casual use of sexually explicit language in the form of metaphors and euphamisms (or maybe it's meant literal, I can't tell) that still makes me uncomfortable. It usually comes from guys. My good Muslim boys colleagues who observe Ramadan, attend every campus jum3a prayer, proudly say "salaam alaikum" instead of hey, and can occasionally be caught preaching of their great faith are NO exception to this trend.

I know guys are guys and I've become somewhat desensitized to critiquing the hottness level of a girl (yup they even do it in front of me). But when I hear a conversation describing a D word, or getting some P word, or a reference to sexual acts my jaw just can't help dropping a little bit. Especially when it's coming out of the same mouth that I heard beautifully reciting the athan a couple weeks ago.

It really bothers me and a string of obsessive and perhaps irrational thoughts will run through my head. Is he merely fitting in with the common culture? Could he actually be 'experienced' like that? How much of a hypocrite is he? I can't believe I thought about setting him up with my friend! Then I start thinking about other 'respectable' boys and if they talk like that too in their normal social elements. I wonder about the guy I'm talking to now and if he has conversations like that when he's around the guys.

It's all really non of my business and I would sleep a little bit better if I just didn't hear these things in the first place. So I take comfort in telling myself that it's ok because boys will just be boys.......but perhaps we're using that phrase too much to excuse behavior that shouldn't be totally ok. Agree?

And maybe it's time for me to call it a night!


Hamza said...

Well, I think you need to get more used to it. I suggest befriending lebanese girls or guys (no exception among both genders). they are exceptionally creative when it comes to cussing

KJ said...

boys will be boys, we cuss all the time, but it should be controlled around girls (unless they consider you one of the guys)

Organica said...

Decent folk don't talk like that alone or around their buddies.